DUPLICITY ❥ IC CONTACT

[pricelesstears]

You've reached Jouno Saigiku.
Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.

Comments

U UP?!

[morsangel]

Can u choke me while u fck me?

[pricelesstears]

What a peculiar message to receive in the middle of the day

[morsangel]

I did not send that...

[ Oh dear... ]

[pricelesstears]

Is that so
Well whoever did has some interesting insight into your psyche

[morsangel]

They got it all wrong; it'll be me choking you.

[pricelesstears]

Well well is that what you think

[morsangel]

Of course. You could certainly try, but I'll be the one on top in the end.

un: craycray; text

[caycay]

YOU'VE BEEN BLASTED BY THE


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ONCE YOU'VE BEEN BOMBED, YOU HAVE TO BOMB 8 OTHER PEOPLE! 
IF YOU GET BOMBED AGAIN YOULL KNOW YOUR REALLY SEXY!!1 
IF YOU DIFFUSE THE SEX BOMB CHAIN, YOULL SUFFER A VERY UNSEXY BRAIN INJURY! 
BOMB WHOEVER YOU THINK IS SEXY!!

un: kingofavidya

[pricelesstears]

I should have removed your fingers the last time we played together

[caycay]

they'd only grow back stroger
able to type faster 😈

[pricelesstears]

I'm willing to test that theory

[caycay]

🤔 upon further reflection
how abt a raincheck
not that the idea of having amazing robot hands isnt amazing but ur a busy man
busy and sexy w/ plenty of bombs 2 throw into inboxes

CAN WE CAN WE

[bandagedfool]

[ Jouno receives a text on his day off, on a day when Dazai has Gone Out to wander the Down to get into trouble (his words, no one else's). Dazai, somehow, even without being home to bother him, does so with his terrible texting. ]

jouno jouno jouno jouno jouno jouno jouno jouno
i have a q!!!!!!!!!!

[pricelesstears]

What do you want

[bandagedfool]

i found this place...
right. and. i think it'd be super duper cool.........

[ Would he ever just get to the point in one message? ]

how would u, saigiku jouno,
like to work with ME, osamu dazai,
to ...!!!! drumroll pls................

[pricelesstears]

While I appreciate the invitation I'm not interested in working with you now or ever

[bandagedfool]

okokokok but hear me OUT jouno i swear this is actually an idea that would benefit both of us!!!!!!!!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ Says the man dragging it out... ]

there's this place in the Down called Delicto, used to be a detective's place!!! i was thinking... maybe we could open it back up!!!!
i need whatever dom im contracted with to say yes
and and and
this could be something fun!!! for the two of us!!!! and tetchou can work there too!!!

see, you'd own the place right
and then you'd make me the person RUNNING the place so u dont have to...

[pricelesstears]

Something like that would be a lot of hard work and we wouldn't have much leeway with the law here

[ But Dazai has a point -- it might be fun, not that Jouno would admit as much. And if he could give Tetchou something to do, similar to what they used to without him having to sacrifice his morals to be a Sin Guard... ]

If I promise to look into it will you leave me alone

[bandagedfool]

ok and? im bored, i could use something to do!!
and u gotta admit... something like this would keep me busy and out of ur hair 24/7

plus i know how to operate a detective agency. for the most part.

[ An address is sent over, probably of the abandoned office's current location. ]

ya! promise, 100%, i'd owe it to u to leave u alone (aside from when u want my attention ;) ;) ;))

jouno day jouno day jouno day

[bandagedfool]

hope ur day sucks a little extra 2day
congrats on not being annoyed 2 death by us yet for another year

[ ... Idiot. ]

[pricelesstears]

[ What an annoying message. ]

There's cake in the kitchen
Do try a bite

[ Tetchou had decided to try baking. The cake is... crunchy. It seems he left the shells on all of the eggs. ]

audio;

[bandagedfool]

........... which one of you made it.

[ He's serious about THIS Jouno. DID YOU LET TETCHOU COOK?? ]

[pricelesstears]

I'm sure all will be obvious the moment you set foot in the kitchen.

[ LET HIM? NO. Jouno is a hard-working man who came home to his kitchen in disarray. He doesn't deserve these accusations. ]

[bandagedfool]

Now I don't even want to come home. I was going to bring you something on my way home-! Maybe I'll just go spend the night elsewhere instead... ugh.

[ This means Dazai's going to be cleaning up after Tetchou. They both know that. All three of them know that. It's the only time Dazai actually cleans: if he didn't make the mess. ]

[pricelesstears]

Don't waste time. Hurry home and clean this up.

[ There's no way around it -- Jouno doesn't trust Tetchou to do anything but destroy, and he's not capable of cleaning to the level of spotlessness he craves himself. ]